Odd evening

This should probably be passworded, but as Blogger doesn't have that function, I'll just warn those of you of a religious nature away from the following post. :)

We were invited by a HE friend to a 'magic show' at her church in Retford this evening. I was a bit reticent at first, but then thought, hey, magic show, what the heck the kids will enjoy it. So we went along, 6 till 8 she said, so we turned up at 6.40pm, after waiting in vain for the builders to arrive, and sat down to one side.

As we snuck in and sat down, the magician on the little box-high stage was doing tricks with a £20 note, and he started asking the crowd of kids in front of him what was written on the note. The kids were all sat on the floor in a semi-cricle around him, and the adults were seated on chairs, again, in a semi circle. There was a lot of shouting and heckling, the average age of the children in there was about 8 or 9. Then he started talking about the 'promises to pay the bearer' bit on the note, and I got a funny feeling. He told the kids that the reason that was there was you used to be able to exchange the note for gold, and so on. And then he moved on to how that promise on the note was now an empty promise, as it was old. But God never breaks his promises...

Yup - we'd gone to an evangelical 'magic show'. If I could have bolted for the door, I would have done, but the girls had gone into the crowd of kids with D's children and I was stuck. So I sat through an hour (yes, the show went on for over an hour and a half - I'm so glad we were late) in a hot room, feeling kind of out of place and had to endure the preaching. He did a few very neat magic tricks, to be sure, but they were all somewhat spoiled by having a moral to them. Here, let's take three ropes of different length and hey presto, they're all the same now - just like you're all equal... I can't recall the rest but had to sit there, suffering unpleasant flashbacks to my childhood and Salvation Army Sunday school.

Then they fed the kids crisps and fizzy pop (no added sugar of course - nothing natural in there) and the grown ups had tea and coffee and biscuits that had been iced by the kids club earlier in the day. And those visitors who had come with friends were exhorted to come and talk to the Pastor and his two helpers if they wanted to find out more etc.

I don't know what I'd expected, to be honest. I had had a passing thought about the possiblity of being invited to pray or to sing or some such, but I can ride through that (can't sing so don't, and if everyone else is praying with their eyes closed, they can't see you gazing vacantly around the room admiring the cobwebs).

I had turned down an invite to a ladies' night last weekend. Apparently it was women only, for a sit down meal and there was going to be a black gospel singer, which would have been fabulous to listen too - except not in a church. It makes me feel extremely uncomfortable. Mainly because I've got my own personal issues with the church which don't need to be gone into in detail here. But also, because of the girls. I wanted to introduce them to each of the major religions in turn, (and some not so major), at their own pace and to do it logically and dispassionately. If such a thing is possible with a topic as fraught as religion. But then to have a grandfather boucning up and down on stage (yes he was a grandfather - his first grandchild had been born just after midnight this very day) telling my kids that this was the only way they could be loved and equal and saved and assured of a clean inside and a clean outside (done with a pack of cards) and that Jesus was the only one who could clean the stains off their insides...

I know there are flaws and good bits about each of the major religions, but I must confess to having the most problems with Christianity. Ironic that my name is taken from that, isn't it? Maybe one of the things I object to most of all is their drive to convert everyone to thinking the same as they do, and that once you do, you must make everyone else think the same way.

I am not a sheep! I do not want to be part of the 'flock' ffs. They even use sheep imagery. We need pastoring and shepherding and pointing in the right direction. Well, baaa humbug, I will not be herded. And I don't want my children to be herded, spoon fed or told how to act. I want them to learn how to think on their own two feet, to weight the pros and the cons and make up their own mind about what they feel and think and belive and trust in. Not to be led by the nose by some creepy guy with a uniform and a tambourine promising everlasting salvation if you'll sit on his lap whilst he reads you the parable of the lost sheep.

Sorry, ran adrift there. But you can see my point.

But, if at the end of the day, they want to be Christian, or Buddhist, or Jewish, or even Baha'i, then they'll have my blessing and we'll celebrate their high days and holy days, and they'll be welcome at mine with open arms. Just as long as they don't expect me to convert.